Let's Play!
by marsalien
Summary: Continue to watch, well, read new episodes of this TV show starring Naruto characters, hosted by none other than me, and we'll see how much randomness happens in this new TV show.
1. The Dare Game

_Welcome to Let's Play!_  
**Episode 1: The Dare Game!**

Episode 1: Start!

Me: Hello, *coughs*, welcome to episode one of Let's Play! This will feature three Naruto characters, aside from my cohost, Gaara!

Gaara: ......Hello.

Me: Alright Gaara! Spin the Wheel of Characters!

Gaara: .....Stop screaming. Now.

Me: *twitch* This is _my show._ *whispers* Be quiet, or they'll fire us!

Gaara: Who. You just said this is your show. Well. Let's get on with it.

Me: Will you shut the f*ck up you d*mn creep!

Gaara: We're going to take a small break, so all you fangirls adoring me right now will have to wait just a second while I either kill him or shut him up. Wait, what the h*ll kind of a line is that? Who wrote this?

Me: I did.

( Commercial Break )

Me: *twitch* And we're back. Sorry about that.

Gaara: I already spun the wheel. Tobi. Itachi. And Sakura.

Me: You already spun the wheel!

Gaara: Yes.

Me: Wow!

Gaara: Now you're just shouting to p*ss me off.

Me: Why yes I am! Now, Sakura. You must dare . . .

( Wheel spins )

Gaara: Itachi.

Sakura: I know! I dare you, Itachi, to make one of your clones give you a wedgie!

Naruto shouts from the audience: Way to think, Sakura! Woohoo!

Itachi: I refuse.

Me: Then you lose.

Itachi: I could care less about your foolish game. Can't somebody just dare me to go home or something so I can I eat my dinner? I'm making fish.

_~At The Akatsuki Hideout~_

Kisame: *looks around nervously* I felt . . . a disturbance . . .

_~Back At The Studio~_

Me: Itachi, you must do it.

Itachi: Whatever. Fine.

( After a few rousing minutes . . . )

Me: Well, now _ha ha_ Itachi _PFTHAHAHAHA!!!_ is now in the lead with one point. _heh heh . . ._

Itachi: Just get a move on.

Gaara: I agree.

Me: Alright, then. (_Pushy cohost I have there. Why_ did _I choose him anyway?_) Now, Tobi, you must dare . . .

( Wheel spins )

Gaara: Itachi.

Me: Itachi!

Gaara: I will kill you. Without hesitation.

Tobi: Oh boy! Oh boy! Oh boy! Ummm, I dare Itachi to give me his ring and cloak and allow me to join Akatsuki in place of him!

Itachi: I'm leaving.

Me: Wait, no -

Itachi: You, there.

Gaara: Me?

Itachi: Fill in for me.

Gaara: Alright.

Tobi: Oh! Then I dare you, what is it again?

Gaara: Gaara.

Tobi: I dare Gaara to rub my belly!

( Sakura, me, and the audience attempt to keep in our laughter )

Gaara: No.

Me: But Gaara, you must.

Gaara:.....No.

Me: Gaara! Do it!

Gaara: Fine.

( Gaara quickly shot out his hand and put a finger on Tobi's stomach and then removed it without a moment's notice )

Gaara: Done.

Me: Great! Now, Gaara will dare . . . .

( Wheel spins )

Gaara: Sakura. I dare you to dare me to leave.

Sakura: I dare you to leave?

Gaara: See you all later. *whispers into my ear* And if I do ever see you again, I will kill you.

Me: *twitch* Ummm, alright. . . now where am I going to get another cohost?

????: I'll do it.

Me: Sasuke?

Sasuke: Orochimaru sent me to spy on you. My turn. Tobi. I dare you to kill yourself.

Tobi: Well, Tobi is a good boy. Okay.

Me: No! Tobi! Don't do it! *turns to Sasuke* It's not your turn. Now, where will I get my next contestant?

????: The Hokage sent me to help out.

Me: Kakashi Sensei?

Kakashi: Yes. Turns out this is her favorite TV show. Now, whose turn is it.

Me: Sakura will now dare the both of you, Tobi and Kakashi.

Sakura: I dare them to make-out!

Naruto shouts from the audience: Even better! Way to go Sakura!

Me: Naruto, please leave the show to us, okay, you are already the main character of one.

Naruto: Sorry.

Kakashi: It.. is... my... *cough* mission.

( Anticipation comes over the audience. And as for the rest of the description... let's just say the dare was followed through. )

Me: Umm, wow, what a dare. Anyway . . .

Iruka: How could you!

Me: When did you get . . .

Iruka: Kakashi . . . why?

( Iruka dissapears )

Me: What the . . . okay, now Kakashi will dare Sakura and Tobi.

Sasuke: Why am I even here? I don't even get to dare anybody.

( Sasuke dissappears )

Me: Great. Now I have no cohost.

Orochimaru: I'm here.

Me: What-!?

Orochimaru: Just finish this up so I can go home.

Me: Alright. Go on, Kakashi.

Kakashi: I dare Sakura to slap Tobi's a**!

Tobi: Sounds fun!

Sakura: Never!

Kakashi: This'll be better than Make-Out Paradise!

Me: I know! And Make-Out Violence, too!

( Sakura frowns and lifts her fists and punches me and Kakashi into the wall )  
( Moments later . . . )

Orochimaru: I guess the shows over. I will be leaving now.

Me (dazily): Great. *huff, huff*

Kakashi (dazily): Where am I?

Sakura: Hmph.

( Sakura storms off )

Tobi: I'm going to go home. I'm making fish!

_~At The Akatsuki Hideout~_

Kisame: (_ What is this strange feeling?_)

_~Back At The Studio~_

Me (dazily): Whatever.

Sasuke: Can I kill the audience?

Me: No! And, when did you show up?

Sasuke: I'm leaving. I must train.

Me: Well, it looks like that's the end of our show today. Next time, I will feature different characters than tonight. And maybe a guest star. See ya-

????: _Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhh!!_

Me: Whose baby is crying!?

( I look around )

Me: Oh. Why did you come back Tobi?

Tobi: Itachi popped out from behind the corner and scared me! Waaaah! Go make him leave! *sniffle*

Me: *sigh* Alright.

Tobi: Can you also walk me *sniffle* out of Konoha? *sniffle* Please?

Kakashi (dazily): Whose this Konoha you speak of? And where did those stars come from?

Tobi: Is he drunk?

Me: I hate my life. Well, see you next time.

Episode 1: End


	2. The Date Game

_Welcome to Let's Play!_  
**Episode 2: The Date Game**

Episode 2: Start!

Me: Welcome back to my new series Let's Play! This time, we have four characters, not including my cohost, Genma!

Genma: *cough, cough, cough, cough* Hello. *cough, cough*

Me: Well *cough* I *cough* am *cough*-

Genma: Are you making fun of me?

Me: Yes I am. Hey! Why didn't you cough that time?

Genma: Oh, that was all a sympathy act. I was never sick.

Me: Oh. Well, here's how today is gonna work. Anko will be in seat one. Now, three male ninjas whom she does not know, but we do!

Anko: Can we start so I can bang somebody already?

Me: ........

Genma: Wow. Anyway. *cough*. That one was real.

Me: So, then, the males are: 1. Kiba, 2. Shino, 3. Neji.

Genma: Aren't they all a little bit young for Anko?

Me: Yeah. Anko, you're off. Hinata, you're on.

Anko: What?! Sh*tf*ck! Are you serious!

Me: Yes.

Anko: I'll just go and eat a f*cking dumpling, then. B*tch.

Hinata: H-hello.

Me: So, Hinata, ask a question.

Hinata: Okay, umm...

Shino: This is ridiculous. I'm leaving.

Me: No - aw man! Why does this keep happening! This is only my second let's play show and I've already lost five people!

Shikamaru: I'll do it. The Hokage sent me.

Me: O~k~a~y.

Hinata: S-shall I begin?

Me: Yes.

Hinata: What would you do on our first date?

( 1 minute passes )

Me: And the answers are in! Number one says: "I would take you to the pound and look at dogs!" Number two says: "I would take you cloudwatching." Number three says: "I would never go on a date with you."

Neji, Shikamaru, Kiba: *uncontrollable laughter*

Me: Well,_ nobody_ would know who _they_ are, right!?

Genma: I do.

Me: *twitch* Next question, Hinata.

Hinata: *blush* W-where would you t-take me when we first kiss?

( 1 minute passes )

Me: And the answers are in! Number one says: "I would take you to my place and get to more than kissing!" Number two says: "I would take you cloudwatching." Number three says: "I would never go on a date with you."

Hinata: Only o-one of them changed.

Me: Ummm, so far so *twitch* great.

Genma: To me, it looks like it's spiraling into disast-

Me: Hinata! Final question!

Hinata: A-are you interested in me, or my . . . . *blush* b-body parts?

Genma: This cannot end well.

Me: I hear you.

( 1 minute passes )

Me: And the answers are in! Number one says: "Hey, sexy." Number two says: "Body parts."

Genma: Let me guess, I would never go on a date with you?

Me: No, number three says "Having the Byakugan is a treasure when near you." I wonder what he means by tha-

( Me and Genma's eyes bulge as we realized what he meant. Spying _under _Hinata's clothing, eh? )

Genma: That's disgusting.

Me: Tell me about it. Now it's time for them to be revealed and then Hinata will choose.

( The curtain hiding the boys raises, and Hinata's eyes widen. )

Hinata: C-can I choose Naruto?

Me: Okay, you know what, obviously the point is lost. So, I'll just let you guys go and maybe someday I will forget how I hate all you people and continue this show.

Genma: *cough* A**hole. *cough*

Me: ( looks at Genma blankly ) I'm done.

Episode 2: End


	3. The Secret Game

_Welcome to Let's Play_  
**Episode 3: The Secret Game (Shhhhh)**

Episode 3: Start!

Me: Hello world! This is the third episode of the Let's Play series, where we take random people from Naruto and do random things.

Deidara: And today-

Hidan: The Akatasuki members are the star!

Deidara: What the h*ll are you doing?! That was my line.

Me: We're live-

Deidara: I'm going to kill you!

Hidan: Too bad that's not possible . . .

Me: Did I mention we're live!?

Hidan and Deidara: Yes!!!!

Me: Well, this show is-

Zetsu: I'm going to eat everyone in the audience if this show doesn't end right now.

Me (nervously): W-we'll be right back.

( Commercial Break )

Me: Today, we have Tobi, Deidara, Zetsu, Leader, Konan, and Hidan.

Kisame: Hey!

Me: Oh, and Kisame. All of you will write down your biggest secrets!

( Scribbles on paper )

Me: Great! Everyone's cooperating!

Deidara: Zetsu's eating Kisame!

Me: Zetsu stop!

Kisame: Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeelllp!!!!!

Me: Zetsu!

Zetsu: Fine. Keep eating. What if I don't wanna- Keep eating!

Me: Anyway, now, I will read Secret #1! "Once I made out with a plant". Wonder who that was. *sarcasm* Anyway, now, who do you think it was?

( All the men and woman in the black robes pointed at Zetsu )  
( Zetsu pointed at Tobi )

Me: Zetsu, are you an idiot? Okay, I'll read the name on the back . . . it was Tobi?

Zetsu = 1 point

Me: Wow.

Deidara: Wait, Tobi . . . You made out with a plant?

Tobi: It was pretty, and it asked me!

Deidara: You heard it ask you? To make out with it?

Tobi: Yes.

Hidan: heh heh . . . "Will you make out with me?"

Tobi: Hey! Now that I think of it, it did kind of sound like you Hidan.

Me: Okay. . . Secret #2: "I . . . married a fish and then divorced her for lack of . . . sensuality". What the h*ll? Okay, who do you think?

( Everybody pointed at Kisame, except for Zetsu, who pointed at Leader )

Me: Zetsu! What the f*ck!? Geez . . . wait, who's Pein?

( The Leader pointed at himself )

Me: Sh*t.

Zetsu = 2 points

Konan: I used to like you, Pein-sama.

Pein: We can still be together . . . !

Konan: You married a fish!

Me: Okay!! I will now hand the Secrets over to my cohost who just arrived, Sasori!

Sasori: Okay.

Me: Why were you so late?

Sasori: Fighting with my grandma.

Me: Oh, well, okay.

Sasori: Secret #3: "I once made a clay model of myself in a bikini, made my hands make out with it, then blew it up."

Me: Oh God, this is so easy!

( Everybody pointed at Deidara. Zetsu pointed at Hidan )

Me: Puh-lease!

Sasori: The name on the back says Hidan. Who is he?

Hidan: You look at me every f*cking day!

Sasori: Oh. You.

Kisame: Hidan? You made-

Hidan: Not a word.

Zetsu = 3 points

Me: Secret #4?

Sasori: "I like putting flowers in people's hair. Especially mine."

Me: *jaw drops* You're kidding? Everybody knows who that is!

( The Akatsuki members point at Konan )  
( Zetsu pointed at Deidara )

Me: Now I'm catching on. It's Deidara wasn't it?

Sasori: Actually, yes.

Me: Of course it was. Oh my God.

Hidan: Oh, Jashin-sama! Deidara, you like putting flowers in your hair!?

Me: Hahaha, yeah, I can see it!

Deidara: …..*veins pop*

Me: Oh come on, are you ever going to be enthusiastic on this show?

Deidara: Can I blow you up?

Me: No.

Deidara: Then no.

Zetsu = 4 points

Sasori: Secret #5. "My haircolor is naturally orange. I just dyed it blue".

( Everybody in the room, even the audience pointed at Konan )  
( Zetsu pointed at Kisame )

Sasori: The person who wrote this secret was . . . Kisame.

Me: You have orange hair?

Kisame: ………… Yes.

Zetsu = 5 points

Me: So, all that's left is Zetsu's secret. Sasori, read it!

( The Akatsuki members leaned in anticipation . . . )

Sasori: "I know all of your secrets".

( Everyone was disappointed )

Zetsu: …….. heh……. Heh heh. . . . . .hahehahahahah!!!

Everyone: ………?!?!?!!?!?!

Me: Did Zetsu just play . . .

Deidara: . . . a practical joke?

Hidan: And then . . .

Konan: . . . laugh!?

Me: How did you know their secrets?

Zetsu: That . . .

( We all wait . . . in anticipation . . . )

Zetsu: Is another secret!!! Hahahahahaha!!!!

Me: Ummm, now that everyone is either in a good mood or bad mood, I can't tell, we'll end the show.

Tobi: Waaaaaaaahh!!!

Me: Tobi, what's wrong!?

Tobi: Itachi is still at the corner!!!!

Me: What?

Tobi: He scared me again!!!! *sniffle*

Me (gloomily): That's all the time we have. I'll go get rid of him Tobi . . .

Episode 3: End


	4. The Watch and Wait Game

_Welcome to Let's Play!_

**Episode 4: The Watch and Wait Game**

**Warning**: _Nudity, disturbingness, and same-sex jokes lie ahead. Don't read if week minded and if you get sick easily. (Remember not to eat a lot before reading!)_

Episode 4: Start!

Me: Hello, people of the Leaf, I'm back again after a short hold up to bring you the fourth episode of Let's Play. Here's an overview of how today is going to work: 1. Everybody will write down a question they want to ask someone and a picture that they think is funny. 2. We tape them to a wheel. 3. One person spins it, does it, answers it, and, well . . . you'll see. . .

Lee: I cannot wait to win!!

Naruto: Who says you're going to win?

Sakura: I think you're both gonna lose!

Ino: I hate all three of you!!!

Me: And I hate all four of you, so shut up!

( Everyone goes quiet and stares at me )

Me: Now then, *twitch* we wait for my cohost to get here -

????: I'm here.

Me: Neji, finally, now we can start.

Neji: Great, but I already know who will lose. It is their destiny. There will be no winner.

Me: You're right, because you can't win in this game.

Ino, Lee, Naruto, Sakura: _……..!?_

Me: So, let's play! First, Sakura, spin the wheel!

( Wheel Spins )

( Sakura opens the taped piece of paper )

( She holds in a barf, and begins to strip )

( Once her now censored and naked self was ready, she made a fish face and began to run around the room )

( I and the rest of the people in the room began to laugh. _Hard._ )

Me: It's not over!!

( Sakura opened the paper again and read: )

Sakura: The question is, "What does it look like . . . " *twitch* "when you jump up and down naked?"

Me: I'm beginning to get the feel for who wrote this . . well, two options. . . Lee, or Naruto?

Ino: It was me!!!

Sakura: What?!

Me: Sakura, *ahem* what does it look like?

( Sakura frowned, and jumped three times and put her clothes on )

Me: Heh heh, wow, anyways, Ino, you spin the wheel.

( Wheel spins )

( She opened the paper )

Ino: Oh God!

Me: You have to do it!

( Ino nervously laughed, and pulled Neji, who hasn't said a word since he got here [and especially after seeing Sakura nude] over to where she as standing )

( She raised his arm . . . and licked his armpit! )

Neji: ……

Me: Holy sh*t!

Naruto: What the . . .

Lee: What toughness and youth, Ino! Good job pulling through!

Sakura: She ain't going through _nothing_!

Me: The question?

Ino: What . . . did it taste like. . .

Me: Well?

Ino: It tasted like sh*t.

Me: Very good. Now, Naruto.

( Wheel spins )

( He opens the paper )

Naruto: Oh, that's easy!

( Naruto pulled off his clothes and ran out the door )

( Confused, I picked up the paper )

Me: This shows a ninja eating sh*t. Why'd he stri- _ooooooohhh_.

( Naruto suddenly arrived again, with a brown batch of stinky sh*t in his hands )

Naruto: Sorry it took so long . . .

( He lowered his head . . . and devoured the whole thing )

( Sakura and Ino barfed while Neji grasped his stomach and I laughed nervously )

( He seemed to have enjoyed it too much )

Me: Well *twitch* Naruto, the question?

Naruto: Oh, *lips smack*, it says: "Where did you get the sh*t?" Oh, that's easy. My a**.

Me: *twitch* Um, okay. Lee, spin the wheel!

( Wheel spins )

( He opens the paper )

Lee: Okay!

( Lee took his left hand and unravelled it, and shot it out . . . )

Me: Oh God . . .

( . . . and shoved it down the front of Neji's pant's! )

Lee: I am truly sorry, rival.

Neji: Get your hands out of my f*cking pants!

Lee: Alright!

( Lee removed his hand, and read the question from the paper: )

Lee: "When you did this, did it make Neji . . . " Wait, what does 'hard' mean?

( The audience and me and Ino, Sakura, and Neji's face went red )

Naruto: Yeah, what does it mean?

( I whispered it into Naruto and Lee's ears, and Lee lit up )

Lee: Yeah, it did ma-

( Neji slapped his hand over Lee's mouth and dragged him outside )

Ino: What the h*ll?

Sakura: Same here, Ino, same here . . .

Naruto: I still don't get it . . .

Me: Well, since there's nothing left to do, see you next time on Let's Play!

Episode 4: End

Me: I warned you . . .


	5. The Imagination Game

_Welcome to a Let's Play! Special:_

**Episode 5: The Imagination Game**

Episode 5: Start!

**Warning: **_This episode contains mention of porn. Alot. If you dislike or hate the word, skip reading this whole episode._

Me: Okay, because this is the fifth episode, it is a special type of episode. This episode is for . . . Jonin!

Kakashi: Yup.

Guy: Of course!

Genma: *cough*

Asuma: Can we just get on with it?

Me: Of course. So, those four Jonin will 'pair up', and not like that, either, into teams: Kakashi and Genma, Guy and Asuma.

Guy: Yes! I get to defeat my rival!

Asuma: Do I have to have Guy?

Kakashi: Who's Genma?

Genma: *twitch* Me.

Kakashi: Oh, right, got it.

Me: Now, everyone will list their favorite thing.

( A minute passes )

Me: Great, now I will read the lists: "Porn, Porn, Flowers, Kurenai". What the f*ck?

Everyone: …..

Me: Oh, whatever. Anyway. Now, everyone will list something that they think should not exist.

( A minute passes )

Me: I will read them off, "Porn-hate sites, Porn-hating people, weed-whackers, and Kakashi.

Kakashi: What the h*ll, Asuma?

Asuma: I didn't . . . *nervously sweats* . . . write that . . Kakashi . . .

Me: Okay. Now, you will describe what would happen if you mixed the two together. But, first - who wrote porn?

( Genma and Kakashi's hands raised up )

Me: Who wrote flowers?

Guy: Me. Of course.

Me: _Flowers_?

Guy: The Lotus Blossom!

Me: Oh. So, Asuma wrote Kurenai and Kakashi.

Asuma: *pulls at collar* Is it hot in here, or what? Heh heh . . .

Me: So, Kakashi: You will describe a porn-hate site with porn on it!

Kakashi: I think you just did that.

Me: Oh, well, um, Genma will now describe a - well, go ahead:

Genma: Okay. A man that says he hates porn goes home and reads porn?

Me: Great!

Kakashi: Do you mind me asking the point?

Me: ….. You'll see eventually. Now, Guy.

Guy: A weed-whacker designed to look like a flower?

Me: Great!

Genma: Why do you care?

Me: Next! Asuma.

Asuma (nervously): Kurenai with Sharingan eyes?

Me: Of course, that makes sense!

Asuma: So, why? Why ask us this stuff?

Me: Actually, there is a small reason. Camera, stop recording!

( Commercial Break )

Kakashi: Holy f*ck!

Me: So, you ready?

Guy: I will do this!

Me: Let me explain to you viewers what I explained to them, just with less . . . *looks at them* detail. Here's how it is going to happen. Kakashi and Genma will . . . heh heh. . . delete all their porn and become active members of "ih8prn dot com"!

Genma: Noooooooooooooooooo!

Kakashi: Never . . .

Me: And, Guy will go home . . .and remove all of the flowers that he can see when he looks outside!

Guy: Why! Oh whyyyyy!!!

Me: And, Asuma must dump Kurenai and live with Kakashi for three weeks!

Asuma: What! No! Please! I'm begging you!

( Commercial Break )

Me: Mwahaha. Now, since the first half of the show was recorded last month, we will now show you tapes of what happened! Teehee..!

( Tape 1: Kakashi )

( Kakashi sat up on his bed. He was curled into a fetal postion, sucking his thumb, looking at his computer. He was logged into "ih8prn dot com" and was reading the nasty comments denoting porn. "What terror . . . " )

( Asuma walked into the house and asked if there was any beer )

Me: Hahahahahahahahaha!!!!!

Asuma: Pft! Kakashi was sucking his thumb!

Guy: I know I have done better than my rival!

( Tape 2: Guy )

( Guy walked into his house holding a weed-whacker. "I'm sorry. . . " )

( Vroommm )

( "The Lotus died *sniffle* with my love of youth in it's heart. *sniffle* Waaaaahhh! )

( Anko walked in and asked Guy if he still had the handcuffs )

Me: Wait, what the h*ll? You and Anko?

Guy: *twitch* I was . . . helping to spread my youthfullness . . yeah . . .that's right! Youthfullness!

Me: Ooookkkkaaay…

( Tape 3: Genma )

( Genma sat on his bed. He was reading a book entitled "Cooking: A Documentary" )

( As he turned a page, the cover came off to reveal the words "Make-Out Paradise" on the spine )

( He laughed nervously and put the cover back on )

Me: You cheated!

Kakashi: Why didn't I think of that?

Genma (nervously): Eh . . . heh . . .

( Tape 4: Asuma )

( Asuma walked into Kakashi's house )

( He slowly crept into and then entered a closet. The door cracked open, and thousands of pictures of Kurenai were surrounding a huge picture in the middle )

( Candles fluttered around the room. Asuma saw the door was opened and slammed it hurriedly )

Genma: You built a shrine?

Asuma: No. Pft. I didn't make a shrine.

Me: Yes, you did. Oh, and by the way, how did Kurenai take the break up?

( Asuma lifted up his shirt to reveal a footprint )

Asuma: She took it well.

( He lowered his shirt )

Me: Oh. Well. The winner, I guess, is Guy.

Guy: Yes! I beat my rival!

Kakashi: Can I go look at porn?

Genma: Yeah, me too?

Asuma: Can I get back together with Kurenai and leave Kakashi's place?

Me: Sure.

All: Yes!

( Everybody ran out, except for Guy )

Me: What are you still doing here?

Guy: What did I win?

Me: Uuuh . . .

( I looked around the studio )

( I picked up a cord )

Me: Here.

Guy: Thank you, I will forever cherish it! Kakashi! We are now at 51 to 50 me! Yes!

( Guy ran out of the studio )

Me: Well, that's all folks. And, thank you for watching ( or reading ) my extremely long episode of Let's Play. See you next time!

Episode 5: End.

…………..

**Note**_: "_ih8prn dot com_" is something I made up on the spot. I did not create it if it exists, and I do not own copyright to the name. Feel free._


	6. The Dare Game Again

_Welcome to Let's Play!_

**Episode 6: The Dare Game **

**Warning**: _Mild nudity lies ahead. _

Episode 6: Start!

Me: Well, there were so many people that enjoyed "The Dare Game", that I decided for one episode only to bring it back and play it again.

Deidara: Okay. Hm.

Kabuto: Get this over with.

Temari: Hi. I-I'm Temari. I'm Temari.

Me: Something tells me you're nervous, Temari.

Temari: What? I have a brother who could kill me at any waking moment. I'm not nervously. Of course not.

Me: You just said "I'm not nervously". You are nervous_ly_. Well, everybody here knows the game. So, Kabuto, you must dare . . .

( Wheel spins )

Me: Temari!

Temari: Hi.

Me: Yeah . . .

Kabuto: I dare her to fight Deidara . . .

Deidara: What, hm? Why?

Kabuto: . . . _nude._

Temari: No. Never. No . . . I will not now and never will!

Me: You have to.

Temari: Ugh . . . .

( Temari quickly stripped her clothes off and grasped her fan )

Deidara: I have to fight her, hm?

Temari: Just come on!

( Temari caught Deidara off guard and hit him in the side with the fan. He ended up in the wall )

Temari: Wind Sycthe Justu!

( Temari turned around and put her clothes back on )

Temari: There. Done.

Deidara: . . . . .

Temari: The h*ll, did I kill him?

Me: No, he's fine . . . Let me see who goes next.

( Wheel spins )

Me: Temari dares Kabuto!

Temari: I dare _you _to strip naked and face the audience and stay that way for the rest of the show!

Kabuto: ………

Me: Well?

Kabuto: Touché.

( Kabuto stripped and faced the audience )

Temari: *whispers in my ear* It's smaller than his brain!

Me: *twitch* Now, Deidara will dare . . .

( Wheel spins )

Me: Temari!

Deidara: Easy. I dare you to . . . lick . . . Joey's . . . . _ear_!

Me: I will not allow dares that have to do with me!

Deidara: But, "Joey, you must". Teehee. . . .

Me: . . . . Sh*t.

( Temari walked over to me and quickly ran her tongue around me ear )

Temari: Done.

Me: Finally. That was agonizing. I mean, _Temari_?! Ewgh!

Temari: What the h*ll kind of problem do you have with me!?

Me: N-n-n-n-nothing!

Deidara: Hm.

Me: Now, Kabuto will dare Deidara and Temari.

Kabuto: I dare Deidara to make out with Temari . . .

Deidara: What?

Kabuto: . . . using all three of his mouths, _not _including the one on his head!

Me: Oh my god . . .

( Deidara walked over to Temari )

Deidara: Lefty, meet Temari.

( He shoved his left hand into Temari's mouth and they made out for about ten seconds )

Temari: Gross . . . a hand . . .

Deidara: Righty, meet Temari.

( This time, Temari grabbed the hand and pulled it to her mouth. They made out for about twenty seconds )

Temari: Ewwww, *smiled* that's gross.

Deidara (confused): Chesty . . .

( Pulls up shirt )

Deidara: Meet . . .

( Temari tossed her head at the chest, and for about another three minutes made out with it! )

Me: Temari! Temari!

Deidara: Get off, hm!

( Deidara shoved Temari off of him )

Temari: Sorry . . .they were . . . have they been practicing?

Deidara: Only with eachother.

( Deidara's eyes went wide )

Deidara: I never said that.

Me: All right . . . Now, Deidara dares Temari and Kabuto.

Deidara: Hm, I dare Kabuto to . . . .

( Deidara began to laugh suddenly, and as if crazy )

( He licked his right hand )

Me: C-r-e-e-p-y . . .

Deidara: F*ck my hand!

Me: …?!!!?

Kabuto: …..?!!?!

Me: You know, the past few episodes have been kind of . . . how shall I say . . . _**gross!**_ This is a family show. Konohamaru is probably crying because of what he's seeing right now!

_~At The Village Mountain~_

( Konohamaru leaned in to look at the TV some more )

( A drop of blood emitted from his nose )

_~Back At The Studio~ _

Me: Well folks, we're going to end early before the dare is followed through. I promise, next episode will be much less gross . . . unless of course, you send in letters and tell me how I'm doing and if you like the grossness or not.

Temari: Kabuto is walking towards Deidara, Joey!! Stop him! Hurry!

Me: Next time, I will read the letters of the people of Konoha, and answer questions and read comments!!

Temari: Ewww! He's doing the dare!

Me: Kabutoooooo!

Episode 6: End


	7. The Torture Game

_Welcome to Let's Play!_  
**Episode 7: The Torture Game**

Episode 7: Start!

Me: Welcome to the seventh episode of Let's Play. So far, we have done Dare Game, Date Game, Secret Game, Watch and Wait Game, Imagination Game, and the Dare Game again. Today, we're going to play "The Torture Game".

Sai: I will be cohosting this episode.

Me: Yes, and the contestants are: Tayuya, Jirobo, Kidomaru, Sakon, and Kimimaro.

Tayuya: D*mn straight!

Jirobo: Oh yeah!

Kidomaru: Let's play a little bit.

Sakon: . . . Hmpf.

Kimimaro: Just let me finish this up.

Me: Okay. Now, Sai, go gather ten slips of paper from any audience member.

( Sai disappeared and reappeared in an instant )  
( He handed them to me )

Sai: Here.

Me: Thank you. Now, you may think this show is getting slightly repetitive. The Dare Game, Dare Game Again, Watch and Wait Game . . . And now, the Torture Game. But there is one different thing each time . . .

Sai: What?

Me: The person who writes the 'dare'! So, Tayuya, read the first piece of paper given to you. And the second.

( Tayuya looked at them and smirked )

Me: Now, today, you do both to whoever you want in the studio!

( Tayuya's eyes flickered as she looked around the room. She then walked over to Kidomaru and Kimimaro )  
( She lifted two of Kidomaru's arms and shoved both hands down her shirt! )  
( She then stuck two more down her pants! )

Kidomaru: Tayuya, stop f*cking around! Let me GO!

( Tayuya ignored and stuffed his last pair down Jirobo's pants! )  
( Jirobo tried to back up, but he couldn't move. He looked about . . . And sure enough . .)

????: Shadow Possession Justu!

Me: Shikamaru, glad to see you showed up!

Shikamaru: I had to. Hokage sent me. Again. How troublesome.

( Tayuya then licked . . .her own elbow )  
( Then she stepped back )

Tayuya: Well, I mixed the two images.

Me: What were they?

Tayuya: It showed two male ninjas standing in front of me. The other I was licking my elbow.

Me: Wait . . .they were just standing in front of you?

Tayuya: Yup.

Kidomaru: All that hand crap, in your shirt and pants . . .

Tayuya: I just thought it would be fun *snickers*.

Jirobo: I think I'm gonna be sick . . .

Me: Woooooow. Anyway . . . Kidomaru, your turn.

( Kidomaru made a hand sign and poofed in a log. He then lay on top of it )

Kidomaru: Tayuya, come tie up my hands.

( Tayuya did this, and then Kidomaru began humping the log! )  
( After a few minutes he got off )

Shikamaru: I think I see a pattern here . . .

Sai: What do you mean?

Me: Forget it, you two. Kidomaru, what were the pictures of?

Kidomaru: Me on a log, and the other with my hands tied behind my back.

Me: . . . . . . So you didn't have to hump the log?

Kidomaru: Pft. W-w-w-w-w-what're ya talkin' about, of course I . . . No. Not really.

Me: Dear God. Now, Kimimaro.

Kimimaro: . . . . .

Me: Hey, Kimi-

( His body fell to the ground )

Me: Sh*t! He's dead!

Sakon: Oh well, it's my turn.

( Sakon took off his shirt and turned both his heads facing inward. )  
( Then . . . . He made out with his other head! )

Shikamaru: Let me guess . . .

Me: What did the pictures look like?

Sakon: On one, my heads were turned inside out and on the other my shirt was off.

Me (boringly): So . . You didn't . . . have . . . To kiss yourself?

Sakon: No, we just do it all the time-

Kidomaru: You do that all the time?

Sakon: You humped a log!

Tayuya: You guys are idiots! F*cking idiots!

Kidomaru: You didn't seem to mind when my hands were down your pants!

Sakon: Or last night when . . . never mind.

Me: Shut up, you guys! What the h*ll! Ugh, Jirobo - wait, where is he.

( We all looked around, and he was gone )

Me: I'll find him.

( I left and returned moments later with Jirobo )

Me: Why'd you leave?

Jirobo: My papers were blank, so I figured it meant I had to leave.

Me: *twitch* Were they upside down?

( Jirobo picked up the papers and looked )

Jirobo: Yeah, they were!

Me: I'm done with this sh*t!

Sai: I quite enjoyed it.

Shikamaru: *snnnnnooooooorres*

Sai: Shikamaru?

Me: See you next time on Let's Play, where hopefully I can come up with a new concept and have less dumb contestants! See ya!

Episode 7: End


	8. The Truth or Dare Game

_Welcome to Let's Play!  
_**Episode 8: Truth or Dare Game**

Episode 8: Start

Me: Hello. Today, we will bring back the winners of each game from the past. Our cast today is Itachi, Guy, Zetsu, and Tayuya.

Guy: My youth will spread!

Tayuya: Can you spread it on me?

Me: This already . . .

Zetsu: Itachi, what's youth?

Itachi: I . . . don't know.

Tayuya: Youth is being young. Or *looks at Guy* _acting _young.

Zetsu: Oh. What's young?

Itachi: Shut up, Zetsu.

Zetsu: Fine.

Tayuya: Hey, I'm surrounded by two hot guys…

( Tayuya looks at me )

Tayuya: Meh, two and a half . . .

( Looks at Zetsu )

Tayuya: Two.

Me: What happened to my half?

Tayuya: The plant freak is a negative one half.

Me: . . . whatever. Anyway, everybody sit in a circle.

( They did as I told )

Me: Now, Tayuya, spin the bottle.

( She spun it. It pointed at Itachi )

( She lunged forward and began to make out with him )

( I pulled her off )

Me: This game isn't "Spin the Bottle," Tayuya, you just have to spin it.

Tayuya: You mean I don't get to f*ck anybody?

Me: No, Tayuya.

Tayuya: Well, sh*t.

Me: Now, Itachi, truth or dare?

Itachi: Truth and get it over with.

Tayuya: Have you ever used your Sharingan to . . . "peep" at women?

Itachi: Who wouldn't?

Tayuya: Hot. . . .

Me: Next!

( Itachi spun the bottle )

Me: Zetsu, truth or dare?

Zetsu: Can you decide for me? I'm unsure. Dare. Truth. Dare. Truth! Dare!

Me: I understand you talk to yourself and all, but just say truth.

Zetsu: Fine. Truth.

Itachi: Have you ever . . . _done _another plant before?

Zetsu: Who wouldn't?

Itachi: I wouldn't.

Me: Zetsu, spin it.

( He spun the bottle )

Me: Guy, truth or dare?

Guy: Dare, of course! What'll it be, 500 laps! 1000!

Zetsu: I dare you to sit down and shut up.

Guy: Alright!

( Guy sat still for three seconds before bursting )

Guy: This is by far the greatest challenge ever! I idolize you as a rival!

Zetsu: You lose.

Me: Guy, spin the bottle.

( He spun it and it landed on Tayuya )

Tayuya: _Dare._

Guy: Umm, okay . . . I dare you to allow me to spread my youth . . . _through you _. . . at my place, right now!

Tayuya: Oh, what an easy dare!

( They both ran from the room )

Me: Well, I guess Itachi can spin the bottle.

( Itachi spun the bottle and it pointed at nobody )

Me: It's probably going to be hard with two people gone . . .

Itachi: Who left? You mean, there were other people?

Me: . . . . Yes. Guy and Tayuya.

Itachi: What the h*ll kind of name is Guy?

Me: I . . . don't know.

Itachi: Well, I have bigger fish to fry than play this stupid game.

_~At The Akatsuki Hideout~_

( Kisame crouched against the corner in a fetal position )

Kisame: _Why . . . _do I keep _feeling_ this . . .

_~Back At The Studio~_

Me: So, Zetsu? Truth or dare.

Zetsu: How can I dare myself?

Me: Aren't you like . . .two people or something?

Zetsu: I pick truth.

Zetsu: Have you ever said "I love you?" to anybody.

Zetsu: This is boring.

Me: Fine. I guess we're out of time anyway. See you next time on, Let's Play!

Episode 8: End


	9. Simon Says!

_Welcome to Let's Play!_

**Episode 9: Simon Says!**

**Warning: **_The following contains mild spoilers from the manga._

Episode 9: Start!

Me: Hello, and welcome to the finale of Let's Play! We have with us Kisame, Suigetsu, Karin, Minato's Ghost, and Sasori's Ghost!

Minato: I hate the real world . . . heaven's awesome.

Sasori: Hell ain't so great.

Me: Well, before this goes any further, let's begin.

Kisame: Hey, I didn't say anything yet!

Me: Oh well.

Suigetsu: I'm bored.

Karin: Shut _up_!

Me: Alright! Alright! Let's begin! Itachi is my cohost and will be simon for round one.

Itachi: Let's get this over with. I want to eat my sushi.

Kisame: _It was you!_

Itachi: Shut up, Kisame.

Me: Alright, let's get started . . .

Itachi: Itachi says-

Suigetsu: It's _Simon._

Itachi:…. Itachi says, blink four times.

( Nobody blinked )

Itachi: You all lost.

Karin: But _Simon _didn't tell us to do anything.

Itachi: Simon says blink four times!!!

( Karin, Suigetsu, Minato, and Kisame blinked )

( Sasori blinked only once )

Sasori: Can I go home now?

Me: You lost. Go.

Itachi: Ita-_Simon_, Simon says fall over on the ground and punch yourself in the eye, then stab yourself seven times through the heart and then cough uncontrollably to your untimely death.

Hidan: Can I play! Pretty please with sugar on top!?

Me: Go away Hidan. Itachi, please make it something they can do.

Minato: I did it! Does that mean I win?

Me: NO!!

Minato:…*sniffle*

Itachi: Fine. Simon says jump.

( They jump- )

Itachi: Land. You all lose.

Me: Itachi!

Itachi: What? Winning is against the rules?

Me: Winning by cheating is against the rules.

Itachi: How did I cheat?

Me: I'll tell you when I figure it out.

Itachi: Simons says bend your thumb backwards and make it touch your wrist.

Karin: What the? Who's supposed to be able to do that?

( Suigetsu and Minato both do this )

Suigestu: Ha ha, Karin!

Minato: Heh, being a ghost is awesome.

Karin: Well, f*ck!

Kisame: I hear ya, girl.

Karin: Did you just speak with a valley girl type accent?

Kisame: Huh? No! Never!

Karin: Right.

Me: Well, you both can go. You lost.

( Suigetsu sticks his tongue out at Karin )

( Minato smiles )

Minato: Too bad Obito wasn't here .. . he would have laughed.

Itachi: You mean Tobi?

Minato: No, for god sakes! Tobi is Madara Uchiha, not Obito!

Itachi: I know who he is! I was just . . . *nervously laughs* making a joke. Yeah.

Minato: …?

Me: Alright, now, Itachi.

Itachi: Simon says fall onto the ground.

Minato: Sh*t! I'm an apparition! I can't fall!

Suigetsu: Yes! I win! Woohoo!

Minato: Well, f*ck.

Naruto: Daddy? You said f*ck! Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!

Me: Naruto?

( Naruto ran out of the room with his hands up )

Minato: ….? How did he know I was his dad?

Me: Beats me.

Me: Well, we're out of time, and the winner is Suigetsu.

Suigetsu: Yay!

Itachi: Finally, it's over. Why do you keep casting me in your shows?

Me: Because your pathetic attitude makes me look better!

Itachi: Ameterasu!

Me: Show's over!

Episode 9: End


End file.
